This post is the result of my conversation with Julie Green on her post What Would I Know About Love. Since my post on Valentine’s day, I have found that there are some people who relate to my thoughts on love. But what is my idea of love? That is something I haven’t talked about much.
Let me say beforehand that I am somewhat cynical (I have been called feeling-less and hormone-less more than once), and hence may be considered ill-qualified to make a post on love, but like George Carlin said, “Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist”. So please humour the rants of the disappointed idealist in me. Besides, I am highly opinionated and love to share (read: dish out) my opinions. So you want my opinion? No? Well, here you go anyway!
If there is one thing I believe is inseparable to love, it is respect. Think about it, you can never have love without respect. How is love possible when you don’t respect your lover’s personality? Good looks? How far can they take you? Love without respect will be akin to charity. Respect is what prompts you to give each other their personal space. It eliminates the need to smother the other person. This is true for all kinds of love. Even parents need to learn to respect their children as thinking individuals as they grow up. Failure to do this often results in bitterness and controlling nature.
On the other hand, respect is not idolising. One does not have to put the other person on a pedestal, only accept them for what they are and realise that they can have different opinions from you, and that it is all right.
This is where the second crucial element in love comes in. Discussion. A relationship without discussion is doomed to fall apart. Again, this is the same for any kind of relationship. Having open discussions inspires trust. Communicating opinions and concerns helps each person understand the other, which ultimately leads to respecting their differences. This is very different from sweet talk. There has to be all kinds of talk, sweet, sour and bitter. And then, if you find that you absolutely can’t agree with the other person, you can simply agree to disagree and move on. Isn’t that far better than being (or having) a trophy to show off?
Perhaps later I’ll write about the love of my life: my books. Yes, another post on books! 🙂